Why we write.

Several times a week I think to myself that I want to write something down. On a slip of paper, in a note to someone, on a chalkboard displayed in my house and often times on this blog.

I suppose for me it is the thought that I don't want to forget something, or I want to tell someone how I am thinking of them and a lot of the time I just want to say how I feel, to the world! Is that so wrong? In any case I am pretty sure I will not ever regret writing down a sweet memory of my children or recapping a special event in our lives. So with that being said, I need to jot down a few things.

Last Sunday Deacon was all set to give a talk in church, the topic was missionary work. He was so cute calling up his Grandpa Steve and asking him about his mission to Argentina and then talking with his Dad about his mission to Norway. He picked which stories he wanted to share and even decided what little story of his own he wanted to share. I am going to write his talk below best I can remember:

"My name is Deacon and today I am talking about being a missionary. My Grandpa Steve went on a mission to Argentina, he ate lots of spaghetti and I think he is lucky because spaghetti is my favorite food. (all the primary kids laughed) On his mission he baptized a woman who was very pregnant, she was afraid she was going to have a baby in the water! When she was done she was very happy she did not have the baby in the water. (all the kids laughed again)

My dad went on a mission to Norway, it is very dark and cold there here is a picture of my dad all bundled up to go out in the snow (holds up a pic) my dad says the best way to be a missionary is to keep the commandments and be a good example. I think it is funny that my dad had hair on his mission (holds up a picture of Curt with a full head of hair) because now he doesn't. (they all look at Curt and giggle)
( he came up with this next part all on his own)
I think a good way to be a missionary is to pray for others. My cousin Baileys dog Toby died. My mom and me said a prayer and it made me feel better, I hope it made Bailey feel better too.

I hope we can all pray for others and try to be good missionaries."

The sweetest part of the whole thing was that 5 minutes before primary started he burst into tears and told me he was nervous. He clung to me and cried. My heart broke, so often I look at him as my big boy, so grown up doing big things. Then I get a reminder that he is still just a small boy. I actually cant believe he is already giving talks in primary.

I was able to help him calm down and he gave his talk with a lump in his throat fighting back tears. I am not sure I have ever been as proud to be his mom as I was that day. It was just so genuine.

I love my sweet Deacon. I am sure I will be glad I wrote this down one day.

I am a crazy person

If you recall, Deacon and I made a bucket list this summer, do you also remember the part where I wanted to run 300 miles? Well, on Saturday when I crossed the finish line at the Big Cottonwood half marathon it marked THREE HUNDRED FOUR miles. 304 long miles. Countless 4 am wakeup calls. Many, many jelly belly sport beans (with caffeine!) a whole lot of deer spotting's up emigration canyon, 3 porcupine ( I assume it was the same one each time??) sightings, 1 skunk, and 2 rabbit sightings and 1 snake sighting. Lots of entertaining conversations with running partners. One million pee stops on the side of the road and only 1 #2 stop (and I was prepared with a baby wipe and all!) tons of sweat. Not enough afternoon naps. So many moments of prayer and meditation. Countless hours of music listened to and one hilarious book on tape (this has changed running for me!) An overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my body and all the things it is capable of. I feel really proud of myself.

Now it is time to sleep in.

Here I go again on my own.

 The below picture is Deacon writing a goodbye note to Walker that was so sweet.

And then there was one. You would think in a family of 6 kids one or two of them might end up in the same place, nope. I left my a party at my moms house tonight with tears streaming down my face after saying goodbye to my youngest brother Walker. He is heading to China for the next year and not coming home once. Boo hoo!

Too many goodbyes this summer! Goodbye to Issac, Lesley and their family, goodbye to Walker, goodbye to lazy days with Deacon, goodbye to a calling in young women I loved so dearly, goodbye to my college bound niece. I wish I was better at goodbyes but when your little brother hugs you, chokes up and hurries inside I spend the rest of the night crying into a mountain of laundry.

So I suppose I need to say hello to Skype, hello to more blogging, hello to some trips to visit the people I love. And hopefully hello to winning the lottery so I can pay them all to move back.

Lately.

I swear at the start of every summer I swear it is going to be easy, lazy and low key. How come that never works?? Even though it has been busy and crazy it has been so fun, and I guess I have made some time for a few afternoon naps. Just to catch you up on everyone:

Deacon:

• Lost his front tooth, a HUGE one grew in it's place-ha!
• Is the best big brother to Gwen, she loves him so much. He is a good little babysitter when I need to shower or move the laundry. 
• It is so nutso that he is going to 1st grade in a couple weeks, I could cry just thinking about it. 
• His last soccer game of the season he scored 2 goals and said "it was so easy mom! just pass pass shoot!"
• I asked him what he wanted for his back to school feast, he said "ummmm, spaghetti, bean and cheese burritos and hot dogs" wow.
• Such a great swimmer, at the pool one night he probably went off the diving board 50 times in a row. 
• Charming, delightful and the sweetest boy.

Gwennie:

• Started crawling at 7 months! Still army crawling but she pushes herself up and I bet will be full blown crawling anytime. 
• Says DADA! It is the cutest thing and we all try to get her to say it all the time. Today Deacon and I heard her say MUM but only once and not again yet. 
• Loves to eat pretty much everything, only has one little tooth that popped through on the bottom. 
• Looks so freaking cute in a romper, it is pretty much all I put her in. 
• We went to Disneyland and she seriously stole the show. She smiled, giggled and squealed at everyone she saw. It was adorable. 

Me: 

• Running, running, running! I ran the Deseret News half marathon with Kris, it was so fun! I am still training for the Hobblecreek half I am doing with some neighborhood friends.
• Ready to get back in the swing of regular bedtimes and dinner as a family. 
• Watched the first season of New Girl, loved it. Super cute. 
• Went to California with Kris and Bailey, so fun! We saw the guy who played Superman in Man of Steel and oh baby was he a babe. We also saw Russell Crowe who was, short.
• Had a blast going to Disneyland with just our little family. SO fun.

Curtis:

• Playing softball on a work team, he loves it. We have only been to one game but I love to see Curtis play sports, it like it takes 10 years off his age!
• Disneyland lover. This totally makes me laugh. I love that he loves it so much and that we have such a blast when we go. 
• Still playing basketball Tuesday nights, this tradition has been going on forEVER.
• Always planning the next trip, I love this about him. 

So that is about it! We are alive, we are good, we are excited for fall to come and things to chill out a bit. 

This ones a Doozy

I don't quite now how to start this post, I have one million things I want to say about my brother and his family and yet I have no clue what to write. 

Isaac and Lesley have truly become some of my very best friends. I like to joke that their house makes me sleepy, I think that is because I feel so at home there, I almost want to take off my pants and take a nap, ha! Seriously though, I always tell myself I will only stay a certain amount of time and then I stay 4 hours longer. Words can't say how sad I am to see them move to Arizona. 

I know it is a good move for their family, that is will be for the best and that everyone will be just fine but geez! I hate it! 

I would have never guessed growing up that I would end up having such a close relationship with my brother, I look up to him so much. He is the best friend, teacher, dad and a wonderful support system to me. I will miss him being so close. 

Lesley is everything you want in a sister in law, sweet, excepting, loving and a true friend. I am so lucky to have her in my life. 

Be kind to them Arizona, you have no idea how lucky you are to have them. 

The Happs.

 Would you look at this six month old cutie?? Do not be fooled though, that outfit is all 0-3 months. What??!!

 A little tradition Deacon I have started, an ice cream cone on the hammock after dinner. Also, please take note of my perfectly painted nail, news years resolution going strong!

 Summertime wardrobe, cuttoffs and a tee shirt, also a summertime staple: a mid afternoon nap when it is too hot to do anything else.

 I promise Deacon is actually very happy about the Bucket list. We are having a blast checking things off. We added some big, fun (expensive!) things to our list, we are hoping our daddy wants to do them.(Disneyland!)

 Just so you do not think Gwennie is the perfect baby, I remember this night, she was pissssssed.

The picture equal parts delights and terrifies me, Deacon LOVES to pick her up and make her stand. No one and nothing makes her face light up like her beloved Deacon.

And there ya have it, the Leasure family happenings.

I Love a Sleeping Babe

I can not stand how darling little Gwennie is when she is sleeping. Gwennie girl I love you so.

Saturday Nights All Right for Blogging!

Here I am Saturday night, Curt is out of town and I want to write down some things of note. So here we are! Some things of note! Enjoy!

• Summer is here and boy is it hot. No really, so hot. I suppose since we had such a lousy, dreary winter all the prayers for warm weather are being answered all at once, uh thanks?? The good news is I am not moving to the very depths of Hell (Arizona) the bad news is Isaac and Lesley are, BOO.
• On that note, I went to my brother Isaac's end of the year elementary music program (he was a music teacher) it was fantastic. He always puts on the best concerts and I always cry. My heart was feeling especially fragile knowing this was the last concert he would do. I will miss those concerts and even more so, them. So much. 
• Running. I have been running, running, running. I find myself being the most in tune with my mind when I am running. It is a great time for prayer for me. I often find myself thanking my father in heaven for: my body, my children, my life, my abilities. I feel most thankful for my body and all it can do when I run. I have great running partners, my sister in law Kris and one of my best friends Jenny. I am hoping to add in a few more fun running partners this summer while training for the Hobble creek half marathon.
• Bucket List!! Deacon and I made a huge summertime bucket list and we are loving it. We made a list of all the rad things we want to do this summer big and small. We are having fun checking things off. Don't be fooled however, we added plenty of terrible things on there such as: learn how to make your bed (Deacon) run/walk 300 miles (me!) OK just two terrible things. And yes! I do know 300 is a lot, it sounded like a good/crazy goal, in case you are wondering it is about 23 miles per week. I am excited (crazy) about it!
• Yard work. I would rather do all my blog readers laundry than one ounce of yard work. I want a nice looking yard, I want to kick yard work where it counts. 
• The Great Gatsby. Did anyone see this? Is anyone else obsessed with the round rug in Daisy's house? Oh, no one else noticed? Just me? Well, I am obsessed with the million dollar round rug. Can someone please purchase it for me?
• Cabin! Going to the family cabin this week! Translation: Going to eat, nap and laugh a lot this week!
• Gwen baby, how can you be SIX MONTHS OLD!? You are my dreamboat and I love your laugh and smile when I sing you "Take me out to the ballgame"
• Deacon boy, You said to me when I left the house to go to dinner with friends "Goodbye my gorgeous mommy!" you are a charmer and a complete joy.

There ya have it. Noted.

Dreamlight

In October or so we moved Deacon to a big bedroom downstairs to make room for the new babe. I was not worried that he would be scared or sad I knew he would be excited about the change. Deacon is such an adaptable kid, for that I am thankful. However, every big change deserves a gift right? He had been asking for a Dreamlight, he had seen it on T.V. and knew the little jingle that went with the commercial and it seems like the perfect security blanket for the big change.

Here is is with his puppy Dreamlight

For the last 8 months I have turned the dreamlight on as I leave the room. Three nights ago he told me he did not need it anymore. WHAT! WHY! SOB! 

He is so grown up, it feels like it is slipping by. If only I could stop time for just awhile, soak up his sweetness, his desire to be friends with everyone, his hugs, kisses and spontaneous "I love you's" Tomorrow is his last day of kindergarten. One year done. I know all my posts are about crying as of late, but what do you want me to do??

Time, it is a flyin' by. 

Cry it out.

                                                            First day of Pre School

                                                            First day of Kindergarten

I find myself caught in a moment at least once a day thinking about Deacon. He is so close to nearing the end of kindergarten. I have said it before and I will say it again, HOW??!!

I feel so strongly that God sent me Deacon to ease my pain, soothe my soul and bring me much happiness in the face of hardships. Deacon has been so delightful to me. I can not say enough how much love I have for my first born son.

I see him growing, changing and losing a little bit of his place in the spotlight of our family. There is not much you can do about that, new baby usually means a new star of the show for awhile (and we love our new star)  all this seems just fine with Deacon but it leaves me with a little ache in my heart.

Next year my boy will spend more hours at school then he will spend with me (awake at least) and while I truly know this is the best thing for him, he loves school, he loves his friends and he does so well I can't help but want to steal him away and keep him home with me forever.

I took donuts to his school class for his birthday, he was so proud of his mom, could not wait to see me and say hi to the baby. The thought came to me " I wonder how much longer he will let me bring donuts on his birthday?" When do they turn into teenagers who want to sleep all day and smell weird?

So Deacon, I want you to know you can count on me to bring donuts to your class as long as you please. Lets make a deal, just until 10th grade?

So like the title states, I will most likely need to cry it out in the near future.

I love you Deacon.

A very happy day

I love being a mom. It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. The only thing I really dislike about being a mom is bloody noses. Deacon gets so many freaking bloody noses. Other than that is truly is wonderful. I feel so happy to take care of these darling kids. My favorite things in no particular order:

Seeing Gwen's face in the morning when I come in to get her from her crib seeing the good morning song ("good morning! good morning! how'd ya get so big? good morning, good morning! How'd ya get SO big? You are my little baby, soon you'll be a big girl! Good morning, good morning! How'd ya get so big!")

Volunteering in Deacons class. One of the best parts of my job is the flexibility. This allows me to go to Deacons class at least once a week, I LOVE seeing him in his own environment.

Celebrating birthdays and holidays. This past week was Deacons birthday (more on my 6 year old later!) and it was so fun to see his face when he came into our room in the morning. I love making memories I know my children will look back on fondly.

Dressing Gwennie and combing her pretty soft hair. I love having a girl, I hope she always knows how beautiful she is to me.

When Deacon makes me laugh, in the car yesterday I handed him a tortilla chip (from lone star, yum) and he said " I can't even handle how delicious these are!" He is always making me laugh.

Going through the drive through at Shivers getting a diet coke and a kids twist cone for Deacon. It may seem silly but it is a little ritual we have and I love it.

I love my kids, I am so happy to have them. Now excuse me while I go peek on them in their beds and cry, just kidding. Kinda.

AND before I go! I love my moms, Mom, Dana and Sharon. Happy mothers day!
                                                                                   

Sleep

                                             Have I posted this picture on this blog before? Who cares, so damn cute.

The first time around with Deacon I was really good at sleep training, it felt right to me, he responded so well and it was no big thing. While I would not say sleep training has been terrible with Gwennie it has certainly been different.

Poor babe had her 4 month shots this week and then ran a fever the next couple days. The first night I was holding her at 1:30 am, she did not want to sleep but also did not want to be snuggled. I had a patience I did not even now existed inside of me. I remembered how badly I wanted her. I guess that is why I do not feel a great urgency to let her "cry it out" but guess what, tonight and last night I let her "cry it out". It was not as bad as I thought, and she is sleeping so soundly in her own little crib and honestly I think she feels just as happy to be mine as I feel to have her.

Two days ago Deacon asked me "why don't you ever sneak into my bed like I sneak in to yours?" (answer: because kids beds are pieces of shiz) so that night at 10 pm I snuck down into his bed, cuddled up next to him and whispered to him how much I love him, told him all the things in my heart, well as much as I can put those things into words.

So the thing about sleep is, I know how badly I need it and how much better it makes a person feel but I need to remember to hold my sleeping (growing) baby and to sneak into my almost 6 (NOOOOO!) year olds bed sometimes.

Did you happen to see the most beautiful girl??

Last month I went to St. George with Angie and Heather (and drank almost 100 ounces of Dirty Diet Coke, but that is a story for another day) while there Angie snapped some 4 month pictures of my most beautiful girl. I just love them, they capture every bit of her sweetness. I am lucky to have a great photographer friend and a very photogenic baby.

A almost sixer and a 4 monther

Look at these kids! Geez. If only I could get them to stop growing right now. I absolutely have to catch you all up on the happenings of these adorable children.

Boy:

Swallowed a lego tonight! Ha! I suppose it was only a matter of time til he took his love of Lego's to the next level. No really though, he takes the small ones apart with his teeth and must of just gulped one down on accident, poor kid.

He drew a picture for me at Issac and Lesley's house, it had two stars and when he handed it to me he said "The stars are for you and for Dad because you are the best parents in the world" so sweet.

I just can not believe he will be a 1st grader next year and in school ALL day. It makes me so sad. But I also have loved seeing all the things he has learned from his teacher and just simply being in school this year, I absolutely know it is the best thing for him. I love being able to go to his classroom often and see what a sweet boy he is.

I love how he talks to Gwen, I heard her crying and then Deacon saying "Honey, honey, honey!" which is exactly something I would say.

I had put the bumbo in the bath to give Gwennie a quick bath after I took her out Deacon wanted to use it. I heard him say from the other room "Ah! This is the life, relaxin' in my bath in my chair" Curtis and I laughed SO hard.

I love Deacon so much I truly feel like my heart could explode, I wish there were more hours in the day.

The Baby:

Oh this baby, what a dolly. I just love her. She is still just a teensy little thing, but getting some chubby thighs. She is growing but still tiny and adorable.

She LOVES Sophie the Giraffe. If you hold it up over her and squeeze it as it gets closer to her face she gets so excited, smiles and kicks.

She is crazy about the bath, she kicks her little legs and trys to crawl out of my arms,  I am sure she thinks she can swim.

While I am so excited for each new milestone I am sad to see her newborn baby days slipping away. I can honestly say I never hoped and prayed for something as I did for her. Every once in awhile I remember what it felt like to be in that wishing/hoping/prayer phase and I stop and say a little thank you.

And there you have it! The two greatest children on earth.

Precious Pearl

Blessed.

 

Here is my darling Gwennie girl on her blessing day. It was the best day. I definitely felt loved, blessed, overwhelmed and so happy. A few things about our sweetest baby Gwen:

• She is just a petite little thing, she is getting chubby but she is still so little and very feminine.
• Best sleeper ever. Even better than Deacon and he was really good. I swaddle her up and rock her to sleep, she sleeps for about 10 hours wakes up in the morning when the family is leaving for work/school, eats and then goes back to sleep for 2 or 3 hours.
• So content in the baby bjorn, I love it too.
• Takes a binky and loves to be held tight to you with a binky in her mouth while she drifts to sleep.
• Smiles ALL the time but no laughs yet! Even when she cries if you say dadadadada she will smile.
• Likes to see her face in the mirror, who can blame her.
• Loves Deacon, will smile for him anytime.
   

When she was blessed I kept thinking that I am the blessed one. How thankful I feel that she is mine. I just love her so.

 

Some of the nicknames we have for our babe:

Gwen, Gwenners (Curtis especially uses that one) Gwennie, GwennieBabe, GwennieGirl, Sissy, Pearly, Baby.

 

What can I say, her name works well for nicknames! I never want this babymoon to end. It is the best place to be. 

 

 

 

A Hit!

I just LOVE when you make something that turns out to be a huge hit. I made this granola for valentines day and gave it to a few people, it has fast become my most requested recipes. This makes me laugh since i made it up in my head! My very own head! I have never made it the same way twice but it goes a little somethin like this:

I ALWAYS add:

8 cups rolled oats, not instant
3 cups roughly chopped whole almonds. I really like these chopped the old fashioned way with a knife, it is not quite a delicious if you use a food processor. I like the almonds in big pieces.
1/3 cup pure maple syrup
1/3 cup oil I have been using coconut oil and holy moly, it is perfect not to mention really good for you.
1/3 cup honey
some cinnamon (probably like 2 or 3 teaspoons)
a splash of vanilla

I SOMETIMES add:

craisons *these are good but I actually think these would be better just thrown in when you eat it.
Coconut creme spread * this is SO good added in. It is a spread I found a Costco it is Walls berry farm coconut creme spread, I searched high and low on the Internet to find a link for this stuff and had zero luck. It is all natural and has no corn sweeteners, it is amazeballs. I fear it is going to be one of those Costco treasures you only find once. You can eat it on anything and it is SO GOOD! Anyway...
Toasted coconut

I am GOING to add next time I make it:

Toasted coconut cashews * I got these at Costco today and what the hell, I was probably better off never knowing these existed. BUT how good will these be chopped up added to the granola?

How to bake:

Add all ingredients together in a huge bowl (this makes a ton!) except any craisons or toasted coconut. DO add the coconut creme spread. Spread on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 for 20 minutes, stir and then bake for 20 more minutes. If you want it to be crunchier bake longer. The longer you bake the crunchier it is. I love that is makes a lot, it is a fun recipe to make and share.


How to eat your granola:

By the handful, delicious.
In a sandwich baggie on the go, Deacons favorite way.
In a bowl with coconut milk, my favorite. I add every fresh berry I can think of and a banana. SO GOOD.
On top of ice cream or yogurt.

I will say:

It is absolutely easier and much cheaper to buy granola at the store. This is absolutely more delicious and I love knowing exactly what is in the granola. I hope you make this and your life is forever changed.

Some things to remember.

I have some thoughts rolling around in my head, thought I would put them somewhere. I think that is what a blog is for, right?

I heard it is supposed to snow in the next day or so, I panicked and made Deacon walk to the library 4 miles round trip so we could enjoy the "nice weather". It was actually so fun. He did not complain one time and was so proud of himself when we got the library. I thought about my sister who walks all over the place in Scotland and made a mental note to do more walking with my kids. It also made me feel connected to her and that makes me happy.

I was talking to my friend about accents last night. My Scottish nieces have the cutest accents. I talked to them on Sunday and my older niece, Miriam chatted and chatted about the flat she is going to live in with her friend Julia when she gets older. They decided they might adopt a baby but will definitely have a cat.

Sometimes I let Deacon crawl into Gwennies crib and entertain her for a minute, he loves this. Today he was in there and I heard him say "Introducing the ammmmmmmaaaaaazzzzzzing Gwenyth!!" And then I saw her flash the hugest smile at him. I loved every second of that.

In Deacons last report card his teacher wrote "Deacon is a good friend who shows kindness everyday" I can not even say how happy that makes me.

Sometimes I need to remember that just because the baby slept for 9 hours 7 days in a row, she can still stay awake from 12 am to 4 am the very next day, just for fun!

Somehow I became the kind of person who eats zone bars and luna bars and loves it. I wholeheartedly blame my friend Jenny.

I am dreaming of warm weather and outside running. I decided today that a good run would be just long enough that you kinda want to die the last 10 minutes. I have a case of spring fever in the worst way.

And there you have it ladies and gentleman, a brain dump at its finest!

New babies and T.V.

The thing about new babies is that they wake up in the night, obviously. With both of my babies I spent lots of time rocking them and singing to them (I have a whole list of my favorite songs to sing, that's a whole other post) but dude, sometimes you have to keep your ass awake, and that is where t.v. comes into play.

With Deacon I got hooked on The Office, I watched endless episodes. I watched Jim and Pam fall in love and laughed myself silly (back when Micheal Scott was still fun to watch) I always associate that show with baby Deacon. That feels like a million years ago and yesterday all at once.

Baby Gwen was no exception, I needed a show, and something with a lot of episodes on Netflix. You guys, I hit a low. I swear I had already watched anything worth watching! Parks and Rec. check! Mad Men, check! Friday Night Lights and Parenthood, check! I hit a new low, I have watched 7 seasons of Greys Anatomy. In two months.

Guess what, it worked! I got hooked on a show and never once fell asleep while up with babe in the night!

Now my baby sleeps through the night, I know I am really lucky. My babies are good sleepers. I think Gwenyth started sleeping through the night because she did not want a mom who got hooked on Vampire Diares.

Here is that delightful baby at 2 months and 2 weeks:

Holy smokes, I you too Gwenners. Also, someday I will post a picture that is not directly from instagram, that someday is not today. Baby steps everyone.

Friend Time.

Sometimes Laura comes over and I make her dinner and then we talk about every single thing under the sun. I LOVE Laura. She is one of those friends I can be completely myself around. And we look like a couple in this picture which makes me laugh for days. (we made Curt take this pic. guess how excited he was about that??)

Tonight I made roasted carrot, sweet potato and red potato soup, SO easy and SO delish. Then we made Valentiney sugar cookies! Laura is so serious about decorating cookies that she brought tweezers! Tweezers that she only uses to decorate cookies, to pick up tiny sprinkles! I love it so much!

While she was here we talked about the 5 love languages (I just read the book for my book club) we talked about how our husbands or partners or whatev usually fulfill one of our love languages but how great it is to have girlfriends to fulfill your other love languages. For instance, words of affirmation, as girls we are really good at saying how great each other looks, how talented each other are, and how all around awesome we are. I am so happy to have so many great girlfriends to fulfill my love needs, ha!

I decided February is the worst with one awesome day- Valentines. Looking forward to my traditional family Valentines dinner, what foods can possibly be made heart shaped??