She is taking too long

Listen, I do not know when this blog became all about my struggles. Swear it, I used to be fun, I think I still am! Hopefully if you know me in real life (if you don't know me who are you?? tell me please!) you still think I am kinda fun? Yes?

Today I was leaving a pretty important doctors appointment with Deacon and my mom from the back seat Deacon sighed and said "Mom, we are never going to get a baby" I said, "You don't think so?" he then replied "she is taking too long." Woof. What a punch in the gut, it is taking a long time, I just thought I was the only one who noticed.

Growing up with siblings is all I ever imagined and all I knew, what fun is childhood if you get everything you desire and have no one to fight with? Just kidding, I know there is lots of advantages to being a only child, probably lots of really smart people can tell me all the pros instead of the cons I have in my head. I know that Deacon is having a happy life, we do have a happy life, full full full of fun, adventures, love and life. BUT. where would I be without these people: bossy big sister, house elf brother, annoying little sister and scrawny younger brother?
That is my childhood.

I can hope that Deacon one day will have: much wanted and desired younger brother or sister.

My personal struggle with conceiving has brought me a deeper understanding and love for those who struggle and not just in the same way I am. It has also brought me a genuine love and happiness for those who get what they are after. Truly. I am a different girl than I was two years ago.

I am happy to be that different girl, and I am not mad, sometimes sad but I know that I am not forgotten, I have said that before but so often I am reminded that I am so loved.

AND now that you made it through this post you get a good story as a reward! My work used to be a food bank of some sort so every once in awhile someone wanders in looking for it. The other day a man dressed like a woman came in, I kindly directed them to the new location. After he walked out the door Deacon said "Why is that boy like a grill?" Oh baby! SO glad that was after he left. HA!