Monday, November 12, 2012

In a blink

Time is going by fast, each day that goes by puts me closer to a whole new life. A life I prayed really hard for, a new baby that has been much wanted and anticipated, but you already knew that.

 While we really love our neighborhood and Deacon loves all his little friends, he is right in between two age groups. I felt sad that he would be going to kindergarten all by himself with no friends his own age.

I kept praying for kids to move into our neighborhood so he could have a friend in his class. Over the summer a new family moved in, with a little girl just Deacons age! And for the cherry on top the mom was expecting a baby just a month earlier than me! I was so happy and thankful.

Just last week that same mom gave birth to a still born baby boy at 39 weeks. While I am planning and packing a hospital suitcase, she is burying her sweet baby.

It is an unfair world isn't it? With each trial comes a lesson, not just for the one who is directly dealing with the trial, but I believe, that there is something to be learned for each person involved. My belief is that with a prayer answered can also come a chance to answer anothers prayer. While I am sure I am not the direct answer to a prayer I do believe that I can serve others, that I can be a better mother that I can do more with the one wild and precious life that I am given.

As I bring a precious daughter into this world I hope that I can teach her how precious her life is, how lucky she is to be here and to make sure she always knows how lucky I feel to have her.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

It's crunch time.

I can not believe I once looked like the above photo! I am exactly twice as far along now as I was in that picture, I need to post another photo because I believe I am double in size as well. I can not believe that in roughly 5 or 6 weeks I will not be pregnant anymore but will have a new baby at home.

The last month or so I have been able to check some things off my lists. I am super lucky to have talented and helpful friends. This baby is going to have a very cute nursery. I have a couple showers coming up, I am excited and feel really blessed to have so many people in my life who love me.

My pregnancy has been pretty great overall, the last few weeks I have had horrible braxton hicks contractions, I never had that with Deacon so it has been a weird experience. I just have to remember to take a break and lay down when they come on. Those contractions have a great way of reminding me just how much crap I still have to do!

I definitely feel myself frantically trying to spend time with Deacon, constantly telling him how much I love him. The other night when I was laying in bed with him before he fell asleep I told him (for the 1,003493577339332th time) that when the new baby comes I will still love him SO much, even MORE than I love him now probably! And he just said "I KNOW mom" I really hope I have done my job to show Deacon that I love him more than anything in the world. I always laugh when I recall when I was a kid probably 8 or 9 years old I was looking at myself in the mirror and thought to myself "I really am so pretty!" this was all because my parents had constantly built me up and the world had not made me feel otherwise quite yet.  I hope I have done the same for Deacon.

One thing is for sure, I will miss feeling this baby move all around in my tummy. If this happens to be my last baby I know for sure that I have enjoyed this pregancy to the max.