Nothings missing

I love this picture, it looks like everything being a kid should be.

Today while reading Deacon a story he was leaned up against me, he paused and looked up at me and said "I love ya". I realized in that moment that to Deacon I was everything.

There have been weeks and even months in the last year and a half that I have felt the longing for something I did not have, like something was missing. As much as I would love to have another baby, for Deacon to have a sibling, more than that I do not want to spend my days longing. One thing I know and that brings me so much happiness is that I am loved. I am cared for and my prayers are heard.

The simple I love ya was a simple reminder of how lucky I am to have this little boy to pour all my love and affection on, and that when I do it is returned 10 fold. Now that is something, not nothing.

What I am loving about Fall

Delicious smells. Beautiful fall leaves, I love living so close to the mountains this time of the year. Creamy pumpkin hand soap from Bath and Body works. Metallic gold and bronze spray painted pumpkins. Soups and breads. Crisp air. Perfect temps for outdoor runs and walks. Warm drinks. Deacon wearing his costume every minute of the day (and night!). Silver Lake. Snuggling at night with a movie and warm blankets. The mountain breeze through the kitchen window. College football, NOT! Getting ready for the Holidays. Baking, which reminds me, time for butterscotch crescent rolls! Oatmeal in the morning. School has started for Deacon. Having a candle lit all the time making my house smell perfecto. Oh baby, I love me some fall.

I say hell too often.

This four year old little boy picks up on everything, so it is no surprise that I have heard him say "what the hell?!" more than one time. My personal favorite is when he casually asks me "what is the not naughty word mom?" to which I respond "heck" and then Deacon replies "oh not hell?"
Oh boy.

Let me tell you about all the absolutely adorable things he says in addition to his profanities.

In his primary program a few weeks ago his teacher started to help him say his line, he quickly said "I don't need help!" and then said his part.

I love in the morning when he comes in our room and sings me the good morning song "good morning! good morning! how'd ya get so big!"

I love having Van and Will over on Wednesday afternoons, on one of those afternoons we went on a walk. Will was worn out and did not want to walk anymore so Deacon said "I am Optimus Prime! Grab my hand Will and I will help you!" Also on that walk when Deacon was fed up with Will he kept saying "William Steven Bickmore! Stop it!"

We had a blast visiting my Dad Dana and Abby in Baton Rouge, just yesterday Deacon asked me if we could "please please please go to Grandpa Steve's and have him take me to the park! please!"

We talked about stranger danger the other night so now Deacon knows to yell "that is not my mom, that is not my dad!" if he is ever in a stranger situation. We also taught him a family password in case someone tells him that they are supposed to pick him up or whatever. We told him the password is secret to only mom dad and Deacon. The next morning at breakfast with a bunch of people he proudly said "guess what! Our family password is (blank!)" Ha!

I could go on and on about this boy. I sure do love him.

Boy oh blog

I have been the worst blogger ever. Truly, the worst. Which makes me sad because I really do like keeping a blog especially to keep track of all the funny things Deacon is up to. I have certainly been in a funk this last year but I am realizing that I can not change everything I do not like but I can try my best to be happy in the situation I am in, I have so much to be happy about.

How about some funny/cute things Deacon is doing?

His new favorite thing to say when he is bored or annoyed or whatever is: "But I am skinny" or "I can't I'm too skinny!"

So so so obsessed with Spiderman. He is forming his little hand to shoot webs before he even opens his eyes in the morning.

Deacon is really lovey at night when I tuck him in. He says things like "should I snuggle you?" Or when I try to leave he quickly says " But how about just one more kiss?" And my personal favorite when I say I love you he replies " I love you most"

I love when I ask him a non negotiable question like "ready to brush your teeth?" he responds with a simple "no fanks"

After his second week of swimming lessons he is really comfortable in the pool, he loves to say " I am such a great swimmer"

We called my Dad on his birthday last week and Deacon sang to him, hours later when Curtis came home from work he said "Know what day it is Dad!? It's Grandpa Steve's Batman birthday!!"

At a friends house for dinner I was told Deacon was outside peeing. When I got out there to tell Deacon he needs to come inside when he needs to go potty he smiled proudly and said "no mom! I already did!"

His concept of time is hilarious, " I want to play three more months" or "Let's go in 10 weeks"

The other night my young women were over playing water games in my front yard, we had two slip n slides set up and the neighbors cat was playing on one so we told Deacon to go scare it off. He ran and scared it off and then shouted "Yay! I won the team!"

Deacon could play for hours in the backyard with or without a friend, it is his favorite place to be.

I said to Deacon the other day " I love......." thinking he would fill in the blank with Deacon but instead he shouted "William!" He loves his cousin Will.

One night when Will was over late we were putting some of Deacons jammies on him and Deacon said "Your looking goooooood William!"

Writing all these things down makes me mad at myself that I have not written these things, I think they will be so priceless to me in the future. No more feeling down for this girl! Even if I do not ever have another baby or have any of the other things or experiences I want, I have so much. I have a husband and Deacon that I love more than anything and I have I know I am doing my best. That is enough, I have more than enough.

A boy his dad and a baseball glove

When I got home from young womens the other night Deacon yelled to me from his room "Mom! Come see my new baseball glove!" I walked into his room to see Curtis lying in his bed next to him while he proudly had his (waaaaaay too big but still the smallest size) baseball glove on his little four year old hand. He was so pleased with himself and so enamored by his Dad.

This made me fall a little more in love with both the boy and his Dad. This is the beauty of being a parent is not the baseball glove that the Dad bought but it is the Dad lying next to his son talking shop about baseball and using his glove for his upcoming tee-ball league. It is the Dad taking the little boy to the store for a part for the air conditioning and coming out with a baseball glove. It is the Dad who we had to call the next morning at work to ask him if he knew where the beloved glove was, only to find that he had slid it under the boys mattress to help the glove wear in. This same Dad slid the baseball glove under the mattress again tonight and I am sure this Dad will cheer his boy on in many baseball games over the years.

I love sharing a life with this little family we created. The baseball glove was a simple reminder of how sweet my life is. Happy Fathers day to the Dad and husband we love to the ends of the earth.

Deacon is four. Wowza. I can not believe it was four years ago that I first held him and looked at his sweet face and tiny body. This kid is THE best. I spend my day laughing and smiling at the crazy stuff he comes up with.

Some of my favorite things about this boy:

He loves to play outside, our next door neighbor is a little boy Mason who is one year older. Deacon will go outside and yell "Mason! Mason!" over and over again until Mason comes running out of his house and then they play forever. I just peek out the window every so often and see them happily playing.

Deacon is constantly saying to me "is that a deal mom? Is that a deal?" I love it. Makes me laugh every time.

Sometimes he pretends that he is going through a drive through and this is what he orders: "a large diet coke with fresh lime and a chocolate kids cone" hmmmm seems like we have a habit he and I.

Whenever he is hungry he opens the fridge for a string cheese a couple strawberries or a apple. I consistently find a apple with 6 bites out of it every other day or so.

Deacon is not especially cheerful in the morning, sometimes he wakes up in a terrible mood. When this happens I tell him I will not talk to him until he is happy, he then pouts and a minute or so later he says " I am happy now!" and he musters up a fake smile proving his happiness. Pretty funny.

I love the way he says girl: grill. He said to the girls at my work the other day "Hey Grills! Take it easy!"

All of Deacons friends are "his" my Will or my Thomas or my Owen. I think it is so darling.

It is becoming clearer every day how fast time is going, I wish I could stop right now and do the last four year all over again. I try to really love on him every chance I get. Words can not say how I feel about my Deacon. Being his mom is absolutely thrilling. Happy happy birthday Deacon, I am your biggest fan.

a birthday banner for my birthday boy

My boy turns four on Sunday. I can not even wrap my head around that. I am always trying to come up with ideas to make birthdays and holidays special and fun for my family, if they cost zero dollars even better! We are not really having any party for Deacon this year but I still wanted to have some fun in the air. And I wanted to celebrate all week!

I gathered up all sorts of cute pictures of Deacon through his 4 years, I always love looking back at all the sweet pictures and moments of his life.

I rigged up this little banner of pictures and added a few little notes about how I feel about that boy of mine. He was so excited to see his birthday banner, he commented on how cute the tiny baby was, when Curt came home from work he was so excited to show his dad. I want to sit in my living room all day and admire my sweet boy who is so big now! Compliments to Angie for all the photography, does anyone print off candid photos anymore?? Happy birthday week to my lovely Deacon.